last few days have been weird.
told someone how I really felt.
my dad got in touch.
I didn't even get an interview for the Job I wanted.
I'm kinda glad I spoke up about my feelings, it's hard though cos we've been through a rough time, hell the worst times, and they are one of my closest friends.
but I just couldn't go on feeling the way I did. Maybe now I've spoken up I'll be able to get over it all.
I don't know why I ended up getting so involved or caring so much. I didn't expect it. I didn't expect to love spending time with him, to get on so well with him, or to be able to tell him everything, it's seriously not like to to get like this over a guy.... I don't let my guard down enough!!
However, there is still that part of me that still wants him just to like me back. to realise that I've been about through all the hassle, the hurt, the lies and the worse times, and I'm not going anywhere.
my dad phoning was random. my mum had told him I was going into hospital (against my wishes) so I've gone from being disowned to daughter again once I'm ill? hmmm interesting? only there when the chips are down eh pops?
as for the job I applied for I really wanted it. I'm sickened I didn't even get an interview... I'm so tired of getting no interviews cos I don't have experience, how can I get experience if you don't give me a job??!!!!
I hope once I start to totally recover I get out of this mood. being a depressed smiths listening Vic is tiresome.....
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