And you give yourself away....

Not Waving But Drowning...

Nobody heard him, the dead man

,But still he lay moaning:

I was much further out than you thought

And not waving but drowning.

Poor chap, he always loved larking

And now he's dead

It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,

They said.

Oh, no no no, it was too cold always

(Still the dead one lay moaning)

I was much too far out all my life

And not waving but drowning.

Stevie Smith. 1957

another Vic favourite.

I have some miserable choice in poetry!

WH Auden Twelve Songs...

Literally, Pure Poetry.....

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,

Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,

Silence the pianos and with muffled drum

Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead

Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,

Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,

Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,

My working week and my Sunday rest,

My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;

I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;

Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;

Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.

For nothing now can ever come to any good.

You can't fix everything that's broke...

You can't stop your friends making mistakes.
You can give advice but who ever takes it?

You can't stop them acting out either.
You just grin and bear it and wish they'd act their age.

You can't change the way people feel.
thats a given.

You can't stop loose lips sinking ships.
people talk..... it's the way of the world.

but you can choose not to dwell on other peoples behaviour and just get on with things...... and that's what I'm doing.

The way I'm feeling...

Sometimes is never quite enough
If you're flawless, then you'll win my love
Don't forget to win first place
Don't forget to keep that smile on your face

Be a good boy
Try a little harder
You've got to measure up
And make me prouder

How long before you screw it up
How many times do I have to tell you to hurry up
With everything I do for you
The least you can do is keep quiet

Be a good girl
You've gotta try a little harder
That simply wasn't good enough
To make us proud

I'll live through you
I'll make you what I never was
If you're the best, then maybe so am I
Compared to him compared to her
I'm doing this for your own damn good
You'll make up for what I blew
What's the problem...why are you crying

Be a good boy
Push a little farther now
That wasn't fast enough
To make us happy
We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect

Forever kept in loving memory

1) Buy a litre of Vodkat.
2) Eat hummas and chips.
3) Mime your way through "Poker Face".
4) Fall over on Union Street.
5) Get in a fight because your best pal was getting bummed at the bank machine. Then loose your earrings.
6) Look this bad:







7) Plan and arrange outfits for Halloween which involve being Iona YF and Vic Hendo.
8) Dance to "some sort of hardcore version of 'Baby got back'".
9) Ask random birds to do up your dress whilst standing naked in the toilets.
10) Pretend "Boom Boom Pow" is playing when it's really Slipknot just because you want an excuse to dance with Smit.
11) Loose your friends.
12) Manage to get to Warehouse. Blag your way in for free by demanding you get a stamp. Lone behold your friends managed put THEMSELVES on the guestlist.
13) As soon as you arrive, start the Iona Tierney academy of dance. This involves, jogging on the spot, pointing your fingers like you are an air traffic controller and jog the length of the dancefloor on your lonesome. For 40 minutes straight.
14) Don't panic when your best friend falls INTO a table.
15) Go back to Korova by yourself because you doubt that walking up the stairs to go to the toilet is a good plan.
16) It's 3am. Time to vomit.
17) Have your best friend tell some guy that his name is not a name, it is an emotion. "Sigh" or "Si".
18) Gowans: "Can a hae your sacks?"
19) Walk hame barefoot.
20) Your feet. So try to hail an Ambulance as a taxi.
21) Either text boys to ask them to "stay over" or simply shout them because "Aberdeen isny that big, they'll probably here."
22) Phone for help when two Polish/..Frenchmen try to end your life. P.s, thank you Mike.
23) Don't sit on someone's motorbike. The alarm WILL go off and the owner WILL shout at you while you try to retrieve your lost heels and run away for dear life.
24) Arrive at your destination. Get naked. "Multi-spoon" your fellow companions.
25) Decide that you want to pranky someone. So, text there best friend, knowing that they are with them and ask for there number. They will NEVER find out who it was.
26) Start a rival clothing company, name it "Boner over Rory".
27) There's no point in asking if a song that contains the words "Tease me" is by Shaggy. It will be.
28) NEVER sing a song called "Your name is Smit, you are in ASD. You're glasses steamed up, when you looked at me."
29) Nor say, in the style of Shaggy, "It wasny me" after every single line in every single song.
30) There's no point in your texting your boyfriend because "everyones getting nailed apart from me." You will jynx your friends chances.
31) Don't doubt Matty Hoods identity. He will tell you to fuck off.
32) Don't send two people the same sext message. "you wanna stay at mine the night??" Two question marks. Nae kisses.


several hours later:
Victoria Gowans:
"I can't believe we slept till 11 o'clock."

Vicki Cockburn:
"I can't believe i'm such a whore."

I Think We'd

be fucking happy.

but we are not going to be.

maybe its best cos I don't want to ruin us.

but the lonliness I feel right now physically hurts.